Attachment to Stillness...

As I work on my path to enlightenment and more focused awareness of the present, lately I've been struggling with frustration issues.  Frustrations with lack of time to focus on my wife, spend time with my kids, play video games until late at night, play/practice my guitar...the list probably goes on.

I probably mostly chalked it up to a lack of balance between my personal wants and my personal choices and commitments.  Feeling a bit conflicted between various aspects of my life - you know, too many demands, not enough time.

End result is less patience.  The occasional exasperated sigh, bit of cursing or grumbling under my breath when asked to yet one more thing that wasn't my to-do list for the day.  My wife would probably say something more along the lines of bi-polar, but....well....whatever.  :)

I generally would have felt myself pretty centered.  Have to work of course and do usual things around the house.  Did find time to knock out some P90X for any hour or so 3 times a week and to go to martial arts for an hour twice a week.  So I was feeling a little perplexed at understanding exactly why it might be that sometimes these little things might cause such reactions, even when otherwise in a great mood?

Then today, while watching my daughter do her running with Girls On The Run after school today, I was listening to my audio book entitled "Wherever You Go, There You Are" and heard:

“You might be tempted to avoid the messiness of daily living for the tranquility of stillness and peacefulness. This of course would be an attachment to stillness [emphasis added by me], and like any strong attachment, it leads to delusion. It arrests development and short-circuits the cultivation of wisdom.”
― Jon Kabat-Zinn, Wherever You Go, There You Are

Attachment to stillness....it resonated in my mind.  I could interpret this in a few ways, some good and others not so good.

One could say that attachment to stillness is another way to say 'detachment from daily living in order to preserve peacefulness'. Or maybe say it's a nicer way of saying 'avoiding conflict/confrontation' even at the cost of right thought/right speech. -- That doesn't sound right.

I could relate to that feeling of stillness to how I felt on vacation last year, relaxed on the beach without worries for anything really.  In my readings of the Tao, having and maintaining that sense of inner calm or peace allows one to flow with the ups and downs of life - not clinging to the lack of life's highs and lows.

That thought, that realization has stayed with me for the past 2 weeks almost.  When I feel myself feeling frustrated, though not due to challenging problems or dealing with life but more due to frustration that the events are infringing on my peaceful feelings.  Sounds a little like one in the same but really are very different.  The infringement distracts me from my mindfulness and allows the external to de-focus and become attached (and thereby dissatisfied) with losing my center balance. 

Funny memory comes to mind of my getting angry and cursing at the blowing wind that was interfering with my planned landscaping jobs outside.  Lot of good that did - wind kept blowing.  Should have just accepted it, enjoyed the cooling effect and carried on.  Likewise, refocusing, accepting and flowing with whatever life brings and keeping inner peace.

Maybe that's not totally right, but seems to be for now.

Peace...

When Right Thought and Right Action Equal Wrong Response

[Started this 2 weeks ago....but things don't always end how you think they will.]

Maybe it's the POWER of Right Thought and Right Action with a bit of nam myoho renge kyo? At least maybe in the 2nd instance.

- Original Post -

This post has been stewing in my mind for about the past week.

Recently have had 2 instances/events where, while striving to follow the Noble Eightfold Path - specifically Right Intention and Right Action not exactly coming out as anticipated.  Just a man trying to follow and adhere to my beliefs, now slightly confused and a bit perplexed.

So in the first instance, started doing volunteer work at a local location that appeared aligned with my values and beliefs. After a few worrying observations, I later became aware of some associated facts that are in direct conflict with others closely held beliefs.  So what to do?  Right action could be applied to keep doing my volunteer work for the benefit of making the lives of those impacted better.  Right thought could be applied in leading by example with hope that those in charge of the facility might become enlightened and change their ways.

The second instance, a bit more close to home.  For the sake of anonymity, suffice it to say that taking the right action for the benefit of an innocent creature led to a visit from our friendly neighborhood deputy sheriff!  ...

- Recent Observations -

So, a few days after visit from po-po, our neighbors dog wandered over (again) having broken the rope used to tie her out which she subsequently got tangled up with our deck furniture.  When I got home from work, the dog was gone, but I wanted to take the remains of the rope and collar over to the neighbors.  As I was walking up the driveway, seems 2 other neighbors were walking down the neighbors driveway with a lead in hand -- I guess the wandering dog had roamed over to their house and they returned her to her proper home.

Eventually I spoke with the husband the neighbors with the dogs.  Talked about visit from police and events that lead up to it.  Explained that we love pets (have more than I care to count!) and when their dog came over last time during a wind-driven, <10 degree snowstorm we let her in our house.  No malicious intent, just what we'd hope someone might do for one of our pets if they got out during such weather.  Having lamented issues they had when they tried keeping the dogs inside, I made a few suggestions and included suggestion to leave garge door up a bit so in bad weather the dogs might wander inside for shelter at least.

Fast forward a week or two, and during the last recent snow storm the dogs were taken INSIDE!  Whoohoo!  And for the few recent nights when it's gotten cold at night the dogs seem to be inside as well.

So, in the beginning, stuck by our beliefs and gave some shelter to a dog in need.  Things looked to be going a little pair shaped but at the end of the day, maybe it was our right thought/action that gave neighbors reason to try it our way.  Win for the dogs either way.....

Happy Friday!